The Five Love Languages: Touch
Table of Contents
Did you know… You cannot live without the power of touch.
We learned a long time ago from research done in orphanages caring for infants that babies who were not held, cuddled & touched would stop growing &, even if they received proper nutrition, could die without human contact. Without physical affection.
In recent years, there’s been a growing interest in the science of physical touch. Did you know that according to research, holding hands actually reduces stress? So next time you’re in the middle of a stressful situation with someone, just take their hand & watch the stress level fall.
Did you know that teams that touch more seem to win more? One research project I read about studied teams that fist bump, high five, chest bump & all that during games. Do you know what they found? Teams that had more physical contact with each other in that way seemed to be at the top of their sport. Teams that didn’t seemed to be mediocre at best.
Touch has the Power to Communicate Love
We know this, appropriate physical touch is a fundamental way for us to communicate love & encouragement to those around us. Nothing communicates love or encouragement more quickly than a hug, a high five, a handshake. And the lack of those touches, the absence of those touches communicates tension or distance in a relationship.
I want to make sure you know we’re talking about meaningful & appropriate touch. We’re not talking about anything that is hurtful or harmful. Abuse is always wrong.
I’m convinced that we were given the ability to touch to share love, healing & encouragement. Touch was never meant for harm. But like so many things given to us by God for good, touch can be used for harm.
For any of you have been hurt by wrongful touch, I want you to know Jesus never hurt anyone with touch, but He was hurt by touch. If you’ve been hurt in that way I want you to know that Jesus can identify with you in your pain. I don’t want to minimize your pain at all. I just want you to know that when we look at the cross & see Jesus there, you can know that Jesus knows your pain & He cares for you.
The Power of Touch
It’s interesting to think about all the positive ways touch is used throughout Scripture. This is not an exhaustive list, but here are a few examples…
• Bless children: Mark 10.16; Matthew 19.15; Genesis 48.14
• Receive the Holy Spirit: Acts 8.17
• Receive Spiritual Gifts: 1 Timothy 4.14; 2 Timothy 1.6
• Receive Courage: Revelation 1.17
• Ordain Leaders: Numbers 8.10; 27.18-19; Deuteronomy 34.9; Acts 6.6
• Healing: Luke 4.40; 13.13; Mark 6.5; 7;32; 16.18; Acts 28.8
• Commissioning/Sending Missionaries: Acts 13.3
Touching Jesus
What’s so amazing about Jesus is that he knew the power of touch. So many times He could have accomplished the same thing by just thinking or speaking a command for healing or blessing. But Jesus knew that true healing & true cleansing for people comes through the power of touch.
With that in mind, I want to share just one moment in the life of Jesus when He put this truth on display for us to see.
Luke 5.12-14
12 In one of the villages, Jesus met a man with an advanced case of leprosy. When the man saw Jesus, he bowed with his face to the ground, begging to be healed. “Lord,” he said, “if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean.”
This story is interesting from the very beginning because in the days of Jesus, if a person had leprosy, they were not allowed inside town. The simple fact that Jesus met a man in a village with leprosy… this was unheard of.
Not only was this guy in town but he approached someone. In those days if you were diagnosed by the priest with leprosy, you had to remain outside the city walls & if anyone came within earshot you had to yell, “Unclean! Unclean!”
So for this guy to come into the village, to not shout, “Unclean, Unclean,” & then to approach Jesus was shocking.
Especially because Jesus wasn’t regarded as just some random guy, He was known as a teacher, a Rabbi.
It was said that Rabbi’s wouldn’t even buy eggs on the same street where a leper had walked. As the crowd around Jesus realized what was happening you can be sure it was a moment of shock & awe! How could this be? Who would do this?
And you have to believe that this poor guy with advanced leprosy was terrified as well. As far as I know, there was no penalty for a leper coming into town. But you have to believe that He was afraid for his life. This was so taboo, so unprecedented, so wrong… he had to know he was taking what was left of his life into his own hands, risking everything for the slim hope that maybe, just maybe, this man named Jesus would help him.
He was desperate for help. Desperate for hope.
13 Jesus reached out and touched him.
Jesus touches the untouchable. He could have spoken a word. He could have just thought the command. He could have helped this man any way He wanted to… but Jesus touched Him. He who was perfectly CLEAN touched him who was completely UNCLEAN.
“I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!” [Literally, be CLEANSED]
And instantly the leprosy disappeared. 14 Then Jesus instructed him not to tell anyone what had happened. He said, “Go to the priest and let him examine you. Take along the offering required in the law of Moses for those who have been healed of leprosy. This will be a public testimony that you have been cleansed.”
I love what Dr. Paul Brand and Philip Yancey say in their book Fearfully and Wonderfully Made, “Jesus’ primary purpose was not to heal disease, but was rather “a ministry to individual people, some of whom happened to have a disease. He wanted those people, one by one, to feel his love and warmth and his full identification with them. Jesus knew he could not readily demonstrate love to a crowd, for love usually involves touching.’”
So when you read the story of Jesus you realize that Jesus never healed crowds at one time. He never went to a crowd & pronounced them all healed at once. He seemed to always heal people one at a time. Touch them one by one. And through the power of touch they were made well.
Our Ideas About Touch
What’s interesting is that we’ve got some really curious ideas about the power of touch.
For example, have you ever been at a restaurant, ordered your food & then you discover there is hair in your food touching your french fries — it’s contaminated!
However, if we drop something on the floor, like a M&M or something we really want to eat, we may claim the 5 second rule & eat it anyway!
Or…
When you have your first child & your infant drops it’s passy on the floor, you take that passy, you wash it, you boil it, you put it in the dishwasher, you make sure that before it ever goes back into your child’s mouth that it is so clean no germs could possibly be present.
However, with your third child, when that passy hits the floor you pick the dirt off, wipe it on your shirt & stick it right back in their mouth!
We’ve got some interesting ideas about how touch can sometimes make things unclean & sometimes it doesn’t.
Unclean
What’s really interesting to me, & I give credit to Richard Beck for this idea in his book, “Unclean,” is that we never think about what is clean making what is unclean, clean. We always think that what is unclean has the dominate power & makes what is clean, unclean.
So, for example, if I took a perfectly good, clean apple & gave it to you, you would have no problem eating it. If, however, I put a cockroach on the apple, you probably wouldn’t eat it. Because the cockroach is unclean! Even if were to take that same apple & wash it off after I did that, you probably still wouldn’t eat that apple… because it’s been made unclean.
And this way of thinking permeates every part of our lives. Especially when it comes to how we think about ourselves, our purity before God, our worth & if we are clean or unclean.
So some of you today, deep down, you count YOURSELF as UNCLEAN because of something you’ve done or something that has been done to you.
As far as you’re concerned, there’s nothing that can reverse that.
Because of some particular sin, maybe some kind of sexual sin, some sin relating to your purity, some sin you’re so ashamed of that no matter what you feel unclean & nothing could ever make you clean again.
Back to the apple…. So if i put a cockroach on the apple, your assumption & my assumption is that the cockroach has made this apple unclean. And that can’t be reversed. Here’s what’s interesting, I don’t think anyone, even for a moment, considered the possibility that the APPLE had the POWER to make the cockroach CLEAN.
It’s our assumption that the negative contaminate always has the dominant power over the positive. But this is where Jesus turns everything upside down. Jesus has the power to make what is unclean, clean.
Jesus Changes Everything
When Jesus touched the man with leprosy, the man who was unclean… Jesus, the dominant force, made what was unclean, clean. And Jesus can do that for you today too.
And here’s what’s really amazing, is that Jesus wants to not only do that FOR you, He wants to do that THROUGH you!
I love what Nicole Watt says here about the power of touch…
“After treating thousands of people for all sorts of physical and mental ailments, I have realized how our greatest disease—separation from God, and from ourselves and each other—gets compounded by the fear and loneliness often associated with physical disconnect. Healthy, loving touch can help to heal those in our community at large, as well as those in the pew beside us on Sunday morning.” – NICOLE WATT
What if Jesus still wants to heal people, help people, through the power of touch? And what if He wants you & I to be His hands, to reach out to people in a kind & loving way, to communicate love through the power of touch?
Here’s what I think… I think there are people all around us everyday who need to experience the touch of Jesus. For whatever reason, they feel unloved, unworthy, unclean, they may even feel untouchable. And God, he would love nothing more than to reach out them. To hug them, hold them, carry them through whatever it is they are going through.
And if we, the church, if we are truly the body of Christ… aren’t we the hands of Jesus? Is it not our job to reach out to people who are hurting all around us & be the loving hands of Jesus to them.
Here’s the Rest of the Story
By the way, here’s how this story ends. Before moving on to the next scene in the ministry of Jesus, Luke says this is what happened right after Jesus cleanses the man of leprosy…
16 But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.
So if you’re paying attention, Jesus sends the man he has just cleansed from leprosy into the heart of town to meet with a priest so he can be declared clean. Because he has been cleansed, this man can now return to worship God, he can now return to be with people. He doesn’t have to be alone anymore. He can now be in community with God & with others.
Jesus, however, immediately after cleansing this man leaves the community to be alone. He goes outside the town, where the man with leprosy once was.
In a very real & literal way, Jesus trades places with this man.
It makes me remember what the prophet Isaiah said about Jesus in Isaiah 53.4…
Yet it was our weaknesses he carried;
it was our sorrows* that weighed him down.
That word, “sorrows,” literally means it was our “sickness”, our “diseases” that weighed him down.
What if Jesus took this man’s sickness upon himself & in doing so, had to withdraw to outside the city? What if Jesus became unclean so that this man could be made clean?
Isn’t that exactly what Jesus did for us on the cross? Even as they nailed Him to the cross Jesus was cleansing them, healing them, forgiving them.
“For our sake [God] made [Jesus] to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Corinthians 5.21
Right here in Luke 5, we have the gospel. The good news. That Jesus has come to make clean what was unclean. That Jesus came to make right what went wrong. That Jesus came to make all things new. And He took this man’s uncleanness upon himself. He touched him & cleansed him & gave him the hope & future & new life & healing He needed.
And Jesus is waiting & wanting to touch you today as well. He is wanting to cleanse you from every sin, every stain. He is wanting to make you new.
Jesus wants to not only do that FOR you, He wants to do that THROUGH you!
I serve as the Co-Senior Minister at First Colony Church of Christ in Sugar Land, TX. I enjoy sports, running, fishing & life with the family. I’ve been in ministry since 1999. My wife Alisha & I have three amazing children, Will, Ella Grace & Emma Love. Thank you for stopping by my website!
