The Five Love Languages: Words of Affirmation
This past Sunday we started a new series at our church at Riverside about the Five Love Languages.
We’re doing this for 2 reasons…
1. This is a part of something our church does every year to help partner with families through our @Home Center. We want to encourage our families as we work together to raise our kids in such a way that they will grow up to be life long followers of Jesus Christ. We believe the church & the family play the two most important roles in the spiritual development of our children!
2. The second reason is this… Jesus said that one of the most important things is for us to “Love each other.” And if we are going to love each other the way Christ wants us to love each other, then it would probably be helpful for us to know how to love each other better!
Table of Contents
The Five Love Languages
Dr. Gary Chapman says there are five primary love languages. There’s probably one that you speak or understand best. If I can learn what love language you speak then maybe that will help me love you better. Just think about the implications this has for your marriage, your friendships, your kids!
And what if we learned the love language of our friends who are far from God & we began to speak their love language? What doors or opportunities could that open for us to be able to share the love of God with them?
According to Dr. Chapman, The Five Love Languages are…
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
If you haven’t done this yet, go to 5lovelanguages.com/profile & take your 5 Love Language profile assessment.
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
What if its true? What if each of us speak different languages when it comes to the way we love, the way we experience love & understand love? If that’s true, then it would probably help us love each other better.
One of the places me & my family love to go is to an orphanage in Ensenada, Mexico called the City of Children. It’s a great place & we love the kids & the staff there. There’s only one problem… They speak Spanish! I took 2 years of Spanish in High School so I know just enough to squeak by, but I have long wanted to really learn the language. Why? So I could communicate better with these people that I have a deep affection for!
There are people in your life right now who’s primary love language is Words of Affirmation. They need you to learn to speak their language so that they can feel loved by you! They need to hear you say you love them, or you appreciate them, or you’re proud of them. Spoken or written words of appreciation from you are more valuable than gold to them!
Our Words Matter
One of the greatest ways we can communicate the love of God is by speaking words of love, words of encouragement & affirmation to others. So it shouldn’t be any surprise that so many times we are instructed to watch the way we talk. To use our words to build up each other, not to tear down each other!
Paul wrote about this often in his letters to different churches. He saw this as something that was highly important for those of us who claim to know & follow Jesus. Listen to his words to what I believe was one of his favorite churches, the church in a city called Ephesus. He had spent three years with the people in this church & had grown to know them & love them deeply. Here’s what Paul said to his friends in the church there…
“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” Ephesians 4:29
Literally, he said… “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” (from the Greek Interlinear Bible)
Paul tells his friends in the church in Ephesus, “Don’t use foul or abusive language…”
Why?
Is it because it’s offensive to God? It may be, but that’s not the reason Paul gave.
It is because it’s wrong or sinful? Maybe, but again… that’s not Paul’s reasoning.
Why should we watch our words? Why should we never speak a foul or abusive word?
Because everything we say should “minister grace” to the hearers. Everything we say should be an “encouragement” to others!
The truth is, & you probably know this from experience, that you have the power with your words to either build someone up & make their day or tear them down & destroy their week.
Words are powerful. And YOUR WORDS MATTER!
Your Smile is Beautiful
This sign was recently found pinned in a local Whole Foods store. If you read it, it says, “Your smile is beautiful.” As shoppers came in & read the sign, they would smile. Just the words typed on a page that told you, “Your smile is beautiful” were powerful enough to make the person who read it smile & encourage them.
Think about the power of those simple words.
What’s really interesting is what was written in smaller type at the bottom.
It says, “Please take a compliment. You deserve it. To spread a little more kindness, grab one for a friend too.”
If you notice, every little strip of paper with a written compliment across the bottom has been torn off!
Your words matter. And, through your words, you have the opportunity to help someone else experience the love of Christ… if you would speak words of encouragement.
This is something everyone can do. Make a phone call this week for the express purpose of encouraging someone. For the entire length of the phone call, don’t do anything but encourage the person you’re talking to.
Or write a note or send an unexpected email to someone you can encourage & build up with your words.
Here’s what I would like to simply suggest… Find a way this week to speak Words of Affirmation to someone.
Here’s the thing, this may or may not be your primary love language, but we all understand this love language to some degree. Words have power. Your words matter. Use your words this week to build someone up.
Maybe the most Christ-like thing we can do is to speak words of love & encouragement to others.
I serve as the Co-Senior Minister at First Colony Church of Christ in Sugar Land, TX. I enjoy sports, running, fishing & life with the family. I’ve been in ministry since 1999. My wife Alisha & I have three amazing children, Will, Ella Grace & Emma Love. Thank you for stopping by my website!
