How do we use our time well to shape our children into lifetime followers of Jesus?
This week our kids started back to school here in Atlanta! And I haven’t been able to get these words out of my mind…
“When it comes to kids you have more influence than you think & less time than you think.”
With each year the clock is counting down. Right now, if my math is right, we have approximately 510 weeks with our oldest son Will before he graduates from high school. We have 614 weeks with Ella Grace & 771 weeks with Emma Love. In some ways that seems like a long time. But I know this time will fly by.
The question for me is,
“How do we use this time well to shape our children into lifetime followers of Jesus?”
They say that on average a child will spend 40 hours a year at church. That same child will spend over 3000 hours with mom & dad. It seems to me that in many ways families have adopted the same philosophy with church that they have with other extracurricular activities their kids participate in. Not all families. But some. And our family is as guilty of this as anyone.
So we drop our kid off for baseball practice so they can learn to play the game. We drop them off for piano lessons so they can learn music. We drop them off for ballet so they can learn to dance. And then we drop them off for church in the kids classes or the youth group so they can learn about God.
But church isn’t another extracurricular activity.
There’s more at stake. And there is nothing more important than raising our kids to know Jesus of Nazareth. There’s nothing more pressing than the eternity of our kids. There’s nothing more urgent than helping them come to understand the unconditional love of God. There’s nothing more critical than for us to share with them the good news that Jesus saves.
These words in Deuteronomy 6.4-9 remind us as parents the primary responsibility we have towards our children.
“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
Parents, we are the primary spiritual leaders in the lives of our kids.
As parents I think it’s helpful to remember that you are your child’s primary Children’s Minister. You are your child’s primary Student Minister. Your church may have a great Children’s Minister. They may have an awesome Student Minister. But they can’t replace you!
You – Mom, Dad – You are the most important spiritual person of influence in the life of your child!
I’ve learned through the years in working with teenagers that so much of their perception of God is based on what they experience with their parents. How they picture God is often a reflection of how they see their mom or dad. (No pressure!) So if dad is strict & demanding, they see God as strict & demanding. If mom is gentle & forgiving, they may picture God as kind & full of grace. How they see God is often a combination of the attributes they see in their parents, for better or worse.
In a perfect world, this is as it should be. We are all image bearers of God. Granted, we are imperfect in how we bear that image out. But we should be able in our different ways to put on display the nature of God. So in a sense, our children should learn about what God is like as they grow up in our shadows.
But we don’t live in a perfect world. And even the best of us on our best days will stumble with this awesome responsibility of mirroring what God is like to our children. But this does not diminish our responsibility in the task before us to be the incarnate love of God to our children.
So what do we do with the weeks we have?
Here’s a few things I’ve been thinking about as this school year begins. I want to be as intentional, present & proactive as ever in the lives of my kids for the sake of the Kingdom of God.
1. Love them well.
Reggie Joiner says, “Love over time is what matters most.” If we try to teach our kids about God without teaching them about His unconditional love, all we’ve done is given them religion. So I want to love my kids well and teach them about the great love of our Father.
2. Lead them to Jesus.
As their dad, I want to lead them to Jesus over & over again. My leadership matters at work, in our community & in other places. But my leadership matters most at home. It’s hard sometimes because by the time I get home I’m often tired. But leading my family & leading my kids to Jesus over & over again may be the most important thing I do. But if I lead them into his presence often enough, my hope is that they will find what I’ve found there with Him. Because I’ve found a relationship like no other.
3. Choose their Friends.
To a large degree, my kids will make & choose their own friends. But I want to guide them in making wise choices. Because you are who you’re with. Friends matter. People walk away from religion. People stay in relationships. So I want to help my kids have the kind of friendships that will help them stay connected to God.
How much time do you have?
If you have a student starting 6th grade you have approximately 296 weeks left before they graduate from high school.
If you have a student starting 9th grade you have approximately 140 weeks left before they graduate from high school.
God has given us a window of time while our kids are at home to raise them to know His Son. We have to make that time count. I’ve been really encouraged this week by a series my good friend Taylor Hammett is preaching at Corners Church called, “MAKE: How the Next Generation Can Make it.” I would encourage you to listen as well. Here’s the link.
If you want a physical reminder you might want to consider getting a jar of marbles for your home or office. I just ordered some for myself. Each marble represents a week I have left with my kids. I want to make every week count. Here’s what I ordered. If we can keep before us the time we have, we can remember to make the time we have count.
Remember, you are the primary spiritual influence in the lives of your kids. God has given you time. Love over time matters. Let’s make it count.
What are some things you’re doing to shape your children into lifelong followers of Jesus?
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I serve as the Co-Senior Minister at First Colony Church of Christ in Sugar Land, TX. I enjoy sports, running, fishing & life with the family. I’ve been in ministry since 1999. My wife Alisha & I have three amazing children, Will, Ella Grace & Emma Love. Thank you for stopping by my website!
